What is your superpower?
Why has this question become a such a big deal these days? A very empowering question if you know the answer and the answer can be stated boldly and bravely in the right environment and by the right environment I mean amongst trusted people, friends, family, say your vibe tribe etc. to be discussed openly, explored and its powerful recognition honoured.
Yet this new super question has somehow weaved its way into a society as a norm in various bizarre environments as to appear cool and creative, which it can be when it’s a genuine thought-provoking question. It can also be just as superfluous (in the realms of the corporate environment, anyways) as being asked ‘what’s your middle name’. Carol in finance couldn’t give a rat’s fanny either way, let’s be honest.
Most recently for me it popped up in a HR app at work in my more muggle role. I was asked to 'complete my profile', this was basically so you can apply for holidays?! Why does this require the personal and private information of my superpower? My favourite memory? Inside leg measurement etc etc. No, BOB, as the app is affectionally named, NO! But it requires this nugget of wisdom and NONE SHALL PASS THEE until these boxes are completed. So it’s not even optional, it's fucking obligatory. Rude.
Managing to ignore it (a superpower right there) for as long as I could without much effect on my daily life, after a while I was backed into a corner. I wanted a holiday. Fate had chosen. So, I actually decided to mull this poignant and deeply revealing question over with real intention. What the fuck is my superpower? After much thought and observing myself for a while, it became so clear.
My name is Susie and my superpower is: Being Socially Awkward. Now I say this because I have decided to own this particular trait of mine and turn it from a negative into a positive. I step into my superpower BUT I am not happy about being asked this on a HR system for all to see because then it unleashes a wave of questions mostly from people like Carol in Fun’ance!
A superpower is obviously supposed to be POWERFUL and as society continues to pile the pressure on (mostly younger) people and create hungry approval seekers gorging themselves on self-adulation and ignoring the shadow self, what hope do we have? You can't just gain power from the light soz, lolz. All this does is encourage us to sshh down the parts of us which are uncomfortable. So what if you are a High Achiever whose superpower is Patience (YAWN) or a Team Leader whose Superpower is Diplomacy (bangs head against wall). They are not superpowers they are just labels. You know people want to see you in a boxed in restricted environment that would control your bladder in a heartbeat if it could make more money out of your desk time.
So yeah, Being Socially Awkward is mine an imma gonna OWN it. I’ll tell you why I am so good, ney powerful at being socially awkward shall I? It mainly stems from being partially deaf so in any busy noisy social situation it's sometimes rather hellish to navigate. I tend to lip read but lip reading a stranger isn’t as easy as say lip reading a friend I’ve known for years, it takes a bit more time so half the time I don’t really hear what someone has said to me and basically just take a wild stab in the dark that they were discussing the current overgrown courgette crisis! Invariably it's wrong (no shit Sherlock) and I gleefully and enthusiastically release a random sentence completely unrelated to the conversation. I know the 'look' when this misdemeanour has fallen out of my face as I've seen it a thousand times at this point, I recoil, go cold, feel stupid and want to exit the situation as quickly as possible by either casually moonwalking away or pirouette towards the door like some sort of Swan Lake lead. This usually defuses the situation long enough for me to make my escape...to the echos of 'Oh yeah, Susie, I know her...she's a bit odd'.
This then manifests as my running out of things to say to strangers in those types of social situations as I created a belief of it being pointless to even start a conversation, I mean I’M DEAF, there is only so far it can go before it gets weird…would you ask a blind person to look at your holiday photos? No.
I really can smash it right out the park in the awkward stakes. This is my SUPERPOWER y'all. Welcome.
The other tactic used was to just avoid people I didn't know, a simple manoeuvre but alas then I am perceived as rude, unsociable or moody. Not getting to meet or talk to some people I would actually really like to chat with but can't be bothered/feared the whole above scenario so I'd shut myself away, put myself in lock down, guard up, walls impenetrable! Pushed it all away.
This used to hurt me a great deal, it really truly did, leaving me feeling very isolated and misunderstood for years but now having worked through so much of my shit, it's not something I ruminate over or dwell on. I have owned my flaws and imperfections and the ability to overthrow the mental prison it used to hold me in, now I LOVE MY ODD. That's why it's my superpower because facing it set me free. Seeing it, owning it, loving it so that now I can recognise my quirky responses are all part of who I am. At my most authentic level they make me, and it's all part of who I am in this form. I fully embrace my deafness and awkwardness now, I've grown in my bravery and tell people in advance or ask people to tap my arm if if they are talking to me and I appear not to be paying attention. I've learnt to embrace it now rather than be embarrassed and weighed down by it. I just let go.
The moral of this story, if you really need one, is simple; all parts of you are powerful, even the bits of you you find hard to love and you think no one else will love. But celebrate them, love them anyway because they are what make you uniquely you. Don't hide them away, sit with them, discover them and then work to integrate what surrounds them and holds you back from your full and glorious shine.
Remember you can't always see what someone is struggling with, not all things are visible. So walk through this life with non judgement and be kind, be open hearted. After all, we are simply here to walk each other home. 15 best outdoor spots to practice yog
Just for the record, I'd still pirouette out of the room like a Swan Lake lead if required...and I'd own that too.